People have sexual fantasies and desires. Many visualize experiencing intimacy with the perfect partner. Others may wish for the dream lover who arrives—then vanishes once they are both satiated. There are some who lust for the various pleasures of group sex and orgies.

One of the deepest needs of most is to experience the perfect love relationship. The poets and philosophers have waxed on about the sublimity and ecstasy of love for centuries. Songs such as “Venus”, “Johnny Angel”, “Venus in Blue Jeans” and “Angel Baby” suggest that perfect love is a gift from above. The multitude of songs expressing the heavenly delights of love are too numerous to mention.

Some happily discover fulfilling relationships. Value for value love relationships do exist on earth. Unfortunately many cry out “Oh love, sweet love, why do you forsake me.” At night, reeling from love's forgetfulness, staring up at the ceiling with swollen eyes, their vision blurred by uncontrollable tears—they wonder in their suffering, how long Mr. Heartache will remain an unwelcome guest. Their highest value is gone forever. Their self esteem has suffered an almost fatal blow.

As difficult as this may seem, you have to maintain some control over your thoughts and emotions when you play with the fires of love—even though the resulting flames of passion can supply two people the most pleasurable feelings and experiences life has to offer.

On the other hand the flames of passion can run amuck burning everyone involved. Emotions such as jealousy combined with possessiveness can cause the fires of love to go nova. The relationship blows up.

Probably some of the most painful feelings you can suffer result from the fires of love diminishing and burning out. The flame
of passion suddenly begins to flicker and is soon extinguished. Tears fall as the smoke from the dying flame rises up and inflicts its torture on the eyes of the lover spurned. It is heartbreaking when one partner is still deeply in love with someone whose love has vanished. Love has become a maker of despair.

What can an individual attempting to live happily do? Two important facts of reality have to be internalized.

Reality #1 You can not possess another person. They own their life.

All individuals have a right to self determination. If someone no longer desires a relationship with you—that is their perfect right. If you believe that they are making a mistake you can do everything possible to change their mind. Sometimes allowing them space is effective. Other times they need to be pursued with new vigor.
If nothing works you have to accept the end of the relationship—no matter how heartbreaking it is. The higher your self esteem and the more confident you are about your ability to attract another partner the sooner you make the adjustment.

Reality #2 Practicing the Art of Non-Attachment results in more success at living happily.

Since you cannot possess another it is wise to learn the Art of Non-Attachment. If you’re controlled by another's actions and emotions you are not free. You are attached to them. Should they decide they no longer desire to continue the relationship the breaking of the attachment is traumatic.

When a relationship ends there is heartbreak and sadness. Later I will show you methods for mastering the Art of Non-Attachment to alleviate your pain and suffering. You will expedite your return to enjoying life’s many pleasures.

Embrace all the ecstasies of love and relationships. Experience the best they have to offer. Just avoid the traps—or at least learn to live with the disappointment that’s sometimes part of the package.